Dream Life

                                                     So figure out what you most need to heal within your- self by seeing what you most want to change in others. Doing so will free you in a way you can't imagine. Doing so is necessary piece of the life-you-want puzzle, because all the energy you're using trying to avoid, deflect, delude your way into not acknowledging what you need to heal/change/deal is being wasted, at best, and is actually actively keeping you from the life you want, at worst. What is worth suffering for? Everything is hard in some way. It's hard to be in the wrong relationship. It's hard to be in the right one. It's hard to be broke and miserable, it's hard to achieve your dreams. It's hard to be stuck in the middle, not really feeling anything at all. Everything is hard, but you choose your hard. You choose what's worth it. You don'...

                                         I have been lonely for a while now. I used to say it's because I loved my solitude and independence. I'm Thirty-one now and I don't think loneliness is cutting it anymore. Curious cat. I wonder if I live like this because my days may be numbered? Or do I live this because I'm fucked up in the head? I'm better alone. I'm better alone. I'm better alone. I'm better alone. I'm better alone. BUT if you keep telling yourself you're bird, one day you'll think you can fly. Fighting the urge to disappear, fighting the emotions when I get involved with someone. Reminding myself it's okay to like someone, yet still screaming in my head " None of this means anything, they're just nice and even if they did, you don't deserve it!" Stop being happy. stop being happy. Stop being happy. Stop being happy. Stop being happy. Stop being happy. I become this dragon...