LONELY

                                       



 I have been lonely for a while now. I used to say it's because I loved my solitude and independence.

I'm Thirty-one now and I don't think loneliness is cutting it anymore.


Curious cat. I wonder if I live like this because my days may be numbered? Or do I live this because I'm fucked up in the head?


I'm better alone. I'm better alone. I'm better alone. I'm better alone. I'm better alone.


BUT if you keep telling yourself you're bird, one day you'll think you can fly.


Fighting the urge to disappear, fighting the emotions when I get involved with someone. Reminding myself it's okay to like someone, yet still screaming in my head " None of this means anything, they're just nice and even if they did, you don't deserve it!"


Stop being happy. stop being happy. Stop being happy. Stop being happy. Stop being happy. Stop being happy.


I become this dragon people are afraid of, protecting what little faith I have left in me. It's crazy for some to see how this vulnerability IS me. My skin itches because I will never admit it.


I will flood your life with my chaotic way of thinking though.

I will drown you in love.

And I may leave.

I might disappear into the night.

It's completely selfish, I agree.


It's the only way I know how to love. Either completely or not at all. I cling onto the hope that one day, 

someone will have patience.




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