Dream Life

 Healing is uncomfortable. It is a long journey. It is upwards and downwards and taking 5 steps forward and 3 step back. It involves tears and pain and lots of struggle-but it gives you so much back. Lessons. Growth. Wisdom. Closure. Healing isn't like the process of an external scar being replaced with new skin. It's more like a broken ceramic glass being glued together with love, lessons and people.  You will heal through broken hearts and healthy relationships. You will heal through jobs and careers and friendships. You will heal as you adventure through life. You will heal as you leave the country, start a new adventure and give up an old love.  You will keep healing and healing. And it probably won't stop even when you're older. You will just get wiser. You will just get stronger. Healing won't act as an anesthetic that makes you numb. Instead, it will bring the pain to you and teach you how to live with it. That's what healing will do.         ...

                                In the middle of the night, when we get up after making love, we look at each other in complete friendship, we know so fully what the other has been doing. Bound to each other like mountaineers coming down from mountain, bound with tie of the deliver - room, we wander down the hall to the bathroom, I can hardly walk, I wobble through the granular shadow less air, I know where you are with my eyes closed, we are bound to each other with huge invisible threads, our sexes muted , exhausted, crushed , the whole body a sex- surely this is the most blessed time of my life, our children asleep in their beds, each fate like a vein of abiding mineral not discovered yet. I sit on the toilet in the night, you are somewhere in the room, I open the window and snow has fallen in a  steep drift, against the pane, I  look up, into it, a wall of cold crystals, silent and glistening, ...