Dream Life

                                                     Release me From the prison, I've created, I wasn't forced to participate I entered of my own free will, But little did I know, How my life would go I've been stumbling uphill, Unable to find self-control, I swallow poison, And I know, I'm slowly killing myself, There's no one to blame, I look in the mirror, I am ashamed of my reflection, I want to explain, Everything I've done, My every wrong, I need to tell someone, But no one cares, They're too scared, I will outburst and swear, Here I am, At the doctors, Filling out a questionnaire, My last hope, Such despair, Asking for help, Release me, Please.

                                                                          to my mind: we are at war, you and me, an everlasting exchange of indults and new wounds and apologies that always come just a little too late. by the time you say i'm sorry i have already absorbed the blow. a new battle scar has risen on my skin. my body cannot defend itself from you anymore. and i'm scared a truce will never come.

                                             I miss the excitement, I miss having arms around me, As our laughs twirl through the air, I miss the way a touch can speak, when words aren't enough How hands become artists, painting my body, From head to toe, Caressing my face, Tracing my spine; It made me feel alive; But now, I'm scared of being touched, And not because their touch hurt, But because of how much it hurts, When their touch stops.