Dream Life

                                                     So figure out what you most need to heal within your- self by seeing what you most want to change in others. Doing so will free you in a way you can't imagine. Doing so is necessary piece of the life-you-want puzzle, because all the energy you're using trying to avoid, deflect, delude your way into not acknowledging what you need to heal/change/deal is being wasted, at best, and is actually actively keeping you from the life you want, at worst. What is worth suffering for? Everything is hard in some way. It's hard to be in the wrong relationship. It's hard to be in the right one. It's hard to be broke and miserable, it's hard to achieve your dreams. It's hard to be stuck in the middle, not really feeling anything at all. Everything is hard, but you choose your hard. You choose what's worth it. You don'...

                                                       I am not the first person you loved. you are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forever's. We  have both known loss like the sharp edges of knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin. Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night. Our love came when we'd given up on asking love to come. I think that has to be part of its miracle. This is how we heal. I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I'm hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book. I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar of your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you. And I will not be afraid ...

                                       Dreams are the only afterlife we know; the place where the children we were rock in the arms of the children we have become. They are as many as leaves in their migrations, as birds whose deaths we learn of by the single feather left behind: a clue, a particle of sleep caught in the eye. They are as irretrievable as sand when the sea creeps up its long knife glittering in its teeth to claim its patrimony. Sometimes my father in knickers and cap waits on that shore the dream of him a wound not even morning can heal. The dog's legs pump in his sleep; your closed eyelids flicker as the reel unwinds: watcher and watched, archer and bull's eye. Last night I dreamed a lover in my arms and woke innocent. The sky was starry to the very rind, his smile still burning there like the rail of comet that has just blazed by.

                                   The world is filed with people who, no matter what you do, will point blank not like you. But it is also filled with those who will love you fiercely. They are your people. You are not for everyone and that's ok. Talk to the people who can hear you. Don't waste your precious time and gifts trying to convince them of your value, they won't  ever want you're selling. Don't convince them to walk alongside you. You'll be wasting both  your time and theirs and will likely inflict unnecessary wounds, which will take precious time to heal. You are not for them and they are not for you; politely wave them on and continue  along your way. Sharing your path with someone is a sacred gift; don't cheapen this gift by  rolling yours in the wrong direction.

                                            I am not the first person you loved. You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forever's, we have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin. Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night. Our love came when we'd given up on asking love to come, I think that has to be part of its miracle. This is how we heal. I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I'm hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book. I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar of your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you. And I will not be afraid of your scars. I know sometimes it's still ha...