Dream Life

                                               Either peace or happiness, let it enfold you When I was a young girl I felt these things were dumb, unsophisticated. I had bad blood, a twisted mind, a precarious upbringing I was hard as granite, I  leered at the sun. I trusted no woman and especially no man. I was living a hell in amm rooms, I broke things, smashed things, walked through glass, cursed. I challenged evrything, was continually being evicted , jailed , in and  out of fights, in and out of my mind. men were something to screw and rail at , I had no female friends. I changed jobs and cities, I hated holidays, babies, history, newspapers, museums, grandmothers, marriage, movies, spiders, garbagemen, english accents, spain, france, italy, walnuts and the colos orange. algebra angred me, opera sickened me, charlie chaplin was a fake and flowers were fo...

  Am i the one who is creating disturbance in my own life. Like see what my best friend ashi is struggling with , not having person who can match the vibe that she always wants in her life. But look at me i am the one who is running away from this.                                             Actually its not so.... I also want to go for party with my friends and family, even want to dance carefree and specially till next day or till my last breath . I would like to taste all dishes , like to dress everyday just like an model and a long drive with loud music where i can sing out loudly too. But everything with in zone of safe n controlled. I dont want myself to be kept in situation , where i have to face something odd and specially which against my will. Dont want to be part of crowd where any moment they can lose control and strat behaving inappropriately.  I dont want...

                                         I'm my biggest problem I'm my very last hope My patheticness is humbling I still don't know how to cope My mind is always on the run Yet my body stays forever frozen I always find myself stunned At the paths of which I've chosen My best never seems good enough My best self can't compete Every single day seems tough My worst self is hard to defeat Constantly in a state of depression Even when life's going well It is a different kind of oppression Being trapped in your own personal hell I know things could be worse But things could always be better Thinking I'll only find peace in a hearse Only content when I'm six feet under I think of all the people id leave behind I think about their sadness But if only they could read my mind Witness my mind's madness  

                                        Don't aim to be understood by others before you understand yourself. People may never understand your intentions. You know them. They never understand why you do what you do or say what you say. You know the reasons. They may never understand why you treat them the way that you do,  or why you treat others the way that you do. You know why .  They may never understand the words that you say or the language your eyes speak. You understand these languages because you create them. They many never understand the strength it takes to be the way that you are. You know your weaknesses and your struggles, and you are the one who works so overcome them, so your strength means more to you than it could ever mean to anyone else. It really isn't about what they understand by just looking at you. It's about what they want to understand, and if they rea...