Dream Life

                                         Putting words together Forming inside my head Ready to be said, The real question is, Will they be heard? When I speak, will they be slurred? What is my worth? Do I deserve to walk this earth? Should I say, All the words I want to say, Or do I preserve, What is left of my self-worth? The hell with it! I must address and express, Depression holds me in darkness. Anxiety tells me, The darkness will keep me safe. Racing thoughts, put words in my head, Spinning them, Telling me I should be dead. I am nothing. I am worthless. I am empty. I am darkness. I am ugly. I can't get it right. These are the words inside my head. If I put them on paper, Release them, set them free, I'll have a moment where I can breathe. You may not understand the words I say, I made it, One more day. One more fight. You may not see the struggle inside. It's here . It's real...

                                          Anxiety hold me, tightly. It creeps in , ever so slightly, Sometimes whispers, Sometimes yells, But it will be heard. I believe I am strong, But oh, how I am wrong, Self-doubt, negativity and hurt, To name a few, The list goes on, It's easy for anxiety to do. Punch to the gut. Head constructs, Terrible thoughts. Stare at the mirror And see my flaws, Disgusted and ashamed of my reflection. Anxiety through my eyes, And out of my mouth. Boss me around. Toss words without care, Watch them unravel. I listen, unable, to take control. Anxiety holds power. Insecurity runs deep, Permanent scars, no one can see. Anxiety presses upon my chest, I sometimes wonder , am I possessed? But then I remember, I am depressed and stressed. It waits, it creeps in, Ever so slightly, Anxiety holds me, tightly.