Dream Life

  all day everyday. I want to hold your hand when we go walking. I love looking into your eyes as you look into mine. I smile every time I see you smile. My god I'm so in love with you. Each moment spent with you means everything to me. I hate when I'm away from you. I love the feeling I get when you wrap your arms around me and I like how you smile when I pull you closer. Being in your arms cuddling together watching the world go by is just beautiful to me, I could do it forever. I just want to be with you.

                                                       I am not the first person you loved. you are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forever's. We  have both known loss like the sharp edges of knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin. Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night. Our love came when we'd given up on asking love to come. I think that has to be part of its miracle. This is how we heal. I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I'm hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book. I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar of your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you. And I will not be afraid ...

                                  First Kiss                                             It wasn't that long. But, the memory would last forever. I do remember how i was holding your hand seeking for    a corner . It was the first time for both of us.  Still i can feel your heartbeats and my shivering.   Eyes rolling, making sure of no one can see us.  My hand on your face was like an ice on a flame. For a moment all stopped when i felt your lips on mine.   It was like souls in heaven promising I'm your and                   you'll be mine.

                                           i know now that this is how it works you don't get to keep everyone in your life forever there are some people that are just meant to be a sunrise for you a light to pull you out of darkness there are friends, lovers, relationships that are seasonal and no matter how deep of a conversation you had with that person at 2 am no matter how deep of a conversation you had with that person at 2 am no matter how much you shared your heart even if you can still draw the lines of their smile like the map of a too familiar road in the back of your mind there almost always comes a time to move on a time to let go and regardless of the letting go i just wanted you to know you're always going to feel a little bit like home to me no matter how temporary it is still beautiful that i got to call so many hearts my home

                             I'll write for you a poem that you can read from time to time. A tale of how we could be, in a world where you are mine. We'd travel near and far, just us, walking city blocks together. Our feet could take us anywhere and our hands would still be tethered. The starlight could be blinding as the sunshine fades away. Just tell me what to write and I'll create anything you say. I could write us into forever if you let my mind run wild I'd write us onto the tops of mountains where we'd play just like a child. I'd write us into all the wonders that I've ever dreamt of seeing, but the saddest part of writing is that I can't write you into being.

                                     they warn us to not make homes out of people. they say it will hurt too much while the're gone. but what are these beating hearts good for if not to be a place for others to belong? my heart is a home with many rooms with empty spaces for people to stay, and sometimes we are lucky and find ones who remain with us even when they are away. i'm forever making homes out of people, scattering bits of myself in the ones i trust. and yes, it's messy but trust me it's better than keeping them to myself collect dust. there are parts of others you need to take care of and parts of yourself you need to give, and while missing people is like being homesick, i think this is how we are meant to live. because we all have certain people that for some reason feel like the safety of home. it's true that withoutt them you might feel lonely but at least you are not doing life ...

                                           I want to be, special for someone. So that I never feel alone- Two arms holding me tight, And forever keep me close. I want to find the missing colors, For my life is black and white. Someone crawling in my thoughts When I try to sleep at night. I want to find the wandering feet That with mine will walk the world. Someone warm against my skin When the winter nights are cold. And forever keep me close Two arms holding me tight, So that I never feel alone- I want to be, Your special one.

                                             Our lives go on without you But nothing is the same, We have to hide our heartaches When someone speaks your name. Sad are the hearts that love you silent the tears that fall, Living our hearts without you Is the hardest part of all. You did so many things for us Your heart was kind and true, And when we needed to talk to someone We could always count on you. The special years will not return When we were all together, But with the love within our hearts You will walk with us forever.