Dream Life

                                          You bring out the best in me. You have no idea how much your love has brightened my life.  I try to hold back my tears when I look at you. The joy you give me could sometimes drive me to tears. You never give up on me, even in the times when I let you down. I promise to do all I can so that you will never have to cry. And even when you  cry they would be tears of joy. The love I have for you runs deeper than what words can convey. I'll cherish you forever, my angel.

                                            A beauty rare, beyond compare,     Is sun- kissed sea. No scene so calm- no scene so fair     As this to me. When floods of light dispel the night,    The morning's kiss, On waves which sparkle with delight,    Is loveliness. When ends my day, I trust and pray,     My voyage be O'er waters where some golden ray    My kiss the sea.

                                            Everything you see has its roots in the unseen world. The forms may change. yet the essence remains the same. Every wondrous sight will vanish, every sweet words will fade. But do not be disheartened, the source they come from is eternal-- growing, branching out, giving new life and new joy.

                                     Not a flat. Not an apartment in back. Not a man's house. Not a daddy's . A house all my own. With my porch and my  pillow, my pretty purple petunias. My books and my stories. My two shoes waiting beside the bed. Nobody to shake a stick at. Nobody's garbage to pick up after.   Only a house quiet as snow, a space for myself to go, clean as paper before the poem.

                                        For Girls Made of Storms and Sadness You are monsoon wrapped in the skin of girl the say you aunt        tells you how you must act in front of boys.        Girls like you must never look them in the eye. Don't forget what happens when boys look in the direction of girls        that carry the sky in their eyes and       the world weighing down on their shoulders. Girls who have seen great sadness very young look vulnerable,   like prey and some men are wolves. They will eat you alive. You are too hungry inside your own sadness, and when you love,      you love like torrential rain-heavy and intense.         you are too soft hearted and hard headed, and she is afraid how many around you can see that as weakness. Some people will want to feed on the chaos that you call your soul, drain the good from it, leave the confusion for you to handle. Those are the people you need to run from, but like a magnet,      those are the people that attract you

                                        Learn how to truly be yourself; go to lunch, get coffee, go and watch a movie, alone and understand that there is no need to feel lonely . Take it as an opportunity to learn more about yourself. Fall in love with yourself and romanticise everything you do. The way your voice changes when you ask a shopkeeper, cinema attendant, waiter  or any other person of vague authority for something. The way you bite the inside of your cheek when you are nervous. They way you feel the heat in your cheeks rising with the cool sides of your hands. Become enamoured with the little habits and idiosyncrasies that are only noticed by someone who loves you.

                                               I didn't fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take ever step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we'd choose anyway. And I'd choose you;  in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version      of reality, I'd find you     and I'd choose you.

                                              You may write me down in history      with your bitter, twisted lies, You may tread me in the very dirt      But still, like dust, I'll rise        Does my sassiness upset you?     Why are you beset with gloom? 'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells      Pumping in my living room.     Just like moons and like suns,       With the certainty of tides,     Just like hopes springing high,               Still I'll rise.  Did you want to see me broken?    Bowed head and lowered eyes? Shoulders falling down like teardrops.   Weakened by my soulful cries. Does my haughtiness offend you?    Don't you take it awful hard 'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines      Diggin' in my own back yard. You may kill me with your hatefulness,   But still, like air, I'll rise.    Does my sexiness upset you?    Does it come as a surprise That I dare like I've got diamonds    At the meeting of my thighs? Out of the huts of his

                                     To you, love was about multitudes. To me, love was inordinate.        I love you, I would say.        How much? You would ask. I couldn't find the words to answer you then. But they have found their way to me since. And this is what I would tell you. I would blanket the world in utter darkness; I would pull back the veil of light and reveal to you, a blinding crescendo of stars. I would drain all the seas and ask you to count-  one by one- every grain of sand that clings to the ocean floor. I would tally the beat of every human heart that has echoed since the dawn of our becoming. And as you look in awe at the sheer magnitude of my admission, I would take your hand in mine and tell you; if only you had let me, this is how much I could have loved you.

 Orcas are a type of marine animal. They are sometimes misidentified as whales because of their ‘killer whale’ name. But did you know that orcas are actually classified as dolphins? They are, in fact, the largest members of the dolphin family! In ancient times, mariners reported seeing orcas hunting larger whales and called them “killer whales” as a result. Orcas may be found in every ocean on the planet. You’ll find them in the Arabian Sea to the Gulf of Mexico, from Japan’s coastal waters to the Atlantic Ocean, and from the Arctic seas to Antarctica. Because of their extraordinarily broad range across the world and erratic migrations, determining the precise global population is challenging. It is estimated that there are more than 50,000 orcas. The average orca lifespan is between 30-50 years in the wild. In captivity, their lifespan has been averaged between 10-45 years. Orcas kept in captivity are thought to live shorter lives than those in the wild; however, this is open to scien

                                         I want to talk about the aftermath of love,     not the honeymoon or the hitherto;     but the upshot and the convalescence,     the slow, hard hauling --the heavy tow. I want to tell you about those evenings,      that crept inside like a vagrant cat;      and cast around its drawn out shadow,      untoward--- insufferably black. I want to write about the mornings,      the sterility of the stark, cold lights;      struck against a pair of bare shoulders,      the lurid whisper of a misspent night. I want to convey the afternoon setting,      the water torture of the sink;      drip by drip, the clock and its ticking,      and too much time left now to think.

                           i wish i could sit with you and show you the beauty of this world despite its mess. we could watch the falling leaves and i could explain how they are a metaphor for hope, renewal, restoration. i could trace the edges of the leaf, trace the clouds in the sky. but what i really wish i could do is trace your hand and show you your beauty despite your mess. show you that you too can be a symbol for hope, renewal, restoration. don't leave just yet. it might be chaos but there is harmony in nature and i believe that one day you will find it in yourself.

                                           Smiling is infectious You catch it like the flu When someone smiled at me today I started smiling too I walked around the corner And someone saw me grin When he smiled I realized I had passed it on to him I thought about the smile And then realized its worth A single smile like mine Could travel round the earth So if you feel a smile begin Don't leave it undetected Start an epidemic And get the world infected

                                           The sun rides higher Every trip The sidewalk shows Icicles drip. A snowstorm comes, And cars are stuck, Though road salt flies From the old town truck. The chickadees Grow plump on seed That Mother pours Where they can feed, And snipping, snipping Scissors run To cut out hearts For everyone.

  Maybe we're both lost Clueless to where we are Clueless to who we are You say life is great But don't look me in the face I'm struggling to understand You used to tell me everything Nervous and afraid You never did this before I thought I knew you I guess we outgrew us Now we're on separate paths Wondering where it all went wrong When it was there all along Stuck on the brave face But it faded in the awake of who are we became We are not lost We are no longer in love Dazed and youthful to the truth

                                       Dreams are the only afterlife we know; the place where the children we were rock in the arms of the children we have become. They are as many as leaves in their migrations, as birds whose deaths we learn of by the single feather left behind: a clue, a particle of sleep caught in the eye. They are as irretrievable as sand when the sea creeps up its long knife glittering in its teeth to claim its patrimony. Sometimes my father in knickers and cap waits on that shore the dream of him a wound not even morning can heal. The dog's legs pump in his sleep; your closed eyelids flicker as the reel unwinds: watcher and watched, archer and bull's eye. Last night I dreamed a lover in my arms and woke innocent. The sky was starry to the very rind, his smile still burning there like the rail of comet that has just blazed by.

                                             We are all moved by this weather. by now, all the leaves are gone and we are left with the bare bones of ourselves. the rain is relentless. people step off the bus with jackets pulled tight, heads bowed and feet scrambling for some place dry. i can't help but watch them. we are such a hurried people. never lingering, always in a rush. i'd be lying if i said i didn't feel  like i'm falling behind. i'd be lying id i said i didn't feel the slightest bit jealous. these people- they all have some place to be. when will i know where that place is for me?

                                                                                   the economics of letting go lately i've been thinking about physical things and emotional things: everything i have to carry. i feel burdened with memories. and the way i will hold on to an item or thought just in case it will be of significance later. i rehearse lines from a conversation had. memories. i never let anything gather dust. because we never know if things are going to be of more or less value in the future. but lately i have stopped agonising over the economics of letting go. i am telling myself it is okay to forgot. i am making room for better things. like light. like nothing at all.