Dream Life

  If If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream- and not make dreams your master; If you can think-and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn

                                        Remember the days when you couldn't stop singing dancing and dressing up laughing and grinning? Well that was before they all mocked how you dressed said you would never fit in with the rest and so you stopped smiling and changed what you wore when music plays you do not dance anymore in case you look silly in case you look daft for fear it will dredge up those memories past for fear that you'll feel like you used to back then embarrassed and worthless again and again see you stopped singing loudly then stopped altogether stopped being someone that they would remember  but there's a girl watching she's looking to you trying to figure out what she should do should she stop singing and swallow her voice? pick outfits to wear that would not be her choice? should she resist urges to get up and dance cause sitting there quietly no one will laugh but neither will she she will not know the feeling of singing so loudly and dancing so free

                                               I met the moon for coffee it was Tuesday night I think when he watched me hardly sleeping and invited me for drinks we found ourselves a table in the middle of the night whilst the constellations twinkled like a thousand fairy lights he asked me how I'd been as he poured coffee from a pot and he said he'd watched me waking up at midnight quit a lot I said my head was far too full my mind was always on and when I woke, it felt as if I was the only one the only one who watched the moon whilst sitting on my bed with thoughts that raced at lightning speed around my busy head the only one who watched the clock tick one and two and three who lay awake and worried whilst the world was fast asleep my thoughts remained in orbit and I couldn't pull them back as they preferred to swim against a sky so vast and black the moon said simply nothing but he opened up a book and I saw it was a diary so I took a closer look and listed there were

  Thinking deeply enough to understand the real point. It's not to discover what you'd actually do if you didn't have to worry about money, it's about the  essence of what you'd do and how you can incorporate  that into your everyday life. Would you vacation, would you keep your current job? It just goes to show  you whether you value relaxation or accomplishments or whatever else, and understanding what you value is  crucial to understanding who you are.   Take photos to remember happy moments, not prove  that you looked good or did something cool. Make a special album on your phone just for " happy moments." When you feel good or are enjoying yourself or have  some kind of revelation, just take a photo of  whatever's in front of you ( however unworthy of  Instagram it is). When you look back at these seemingly random snapshots, you'll experience those feelings all over again. You'll see, by contrast, the emotional difference between capturing

                                                         1. The truth is- genuine connection is ease. It is peace. When you find it you will know. You will feel seen. You will feel respected. At the end of the day, the human beings that surround you in this life should not  exhaust you, or hollow you out, or leave you feeling like you are hard to love. You should not have to play games, or beg for someone to care for you the way you have deeply shown up to care for them. Please, do not  romanticize the things in this life that hurt. You cannot love someone into loving you, or being ready, or meeting their potential; you cannot close their hands around your heart if they are not willing to hold it themselves. You have to let them go. You have to focus on the people in your life who bring you back home to yourself. You have to focus on  standing up for that and of connection here, because it exists. It exists. Trust that it will find you. 2. It is often in your weakest moments that you h

                                                  The healing is not the destruction. It is not the day you know it is finally time to uproot your life. It is not the moment you tell someone they are no longer welcome, it is  not the hours you spend decluttering, it is not the minute you walk away. The healing is how you gradually allow your soul to drip into your days again. It is how you show up more fully now that the debris is cleared, and the roads  are unblocked, and your life is once again renewed and  refreshed and freed. It was never about whether or not you had the courage to light fire to what was, it was  whether or not you were willing to plant a seed in its place, and to grow what was always meant to be.

                                   it takes enormous strength to carry our burdens. but we cannot underestimate the strength it  takes to admit when they have become too heavy. surrender is not weakness. it's knowing when enough is enough. it's feeling and honoring what you have and have not been called to bear. show yourself the same grace that in a fraction of a heartbeat, you would extend to someone else. the last thing we need is a world full of people who are barely hanging on. find some shelter and stay for as long as  your soul requires it. this journey was not meant to be taken without setting your bags down and stopping to rest for awhile.

                                      you are not a bad person but there were some things that broke you. and sometimes a broken spirit does things that even they, themselves do not quite understand. like hurt the ones they love the most. like build walls. like pretend that they do not care when inside they are quietly weeping. i know. you have seen the depths of some terrible places. things that took every ounce of peace from your body and sacrificed it at the altar of survival. but you have known soft  breezes too. the ones that whispered their silences into nape of your neck and told you not let go. there is still breath in your lungs and a fire that's burning. hold on to that glow. hold on.