Convince your heart

                                                       

I tried very hard every time to convince my heart , that dude lets wait for some more time. Everything will be alright. Everything will turned out exactly the way you always wants it to be. But it won't last for long time .  Reality just appear like mirror replica and start to tarnish in pieces again . Like every time , when I convinced for something and end up to broken again.

    I don't know , its only me or every person in my surrounding or may be who on far distance, whom i never seen or met .Facing same trauma of making and falling again and again. But somehow now i convinced my stupid heart and little mind , that let's accept the fact. 

   Fact,  that some people born with this kind of destiny, where you spend whole of your life behind a dream or to make reality of a picture which you have draw in your mind earlier, but you failed every time. And now day by day this pain is getting deeper that if you won't stop now then it would be really difficult for you to gain your confidence and to survive in this fake world.

I always thought that aloneness would be not that bad , as every one depict it to be. And see , I was always correct because aloneness of world is not a problem, but aloneness, the one which born inside you , is never ever good for you. It takes you where no one can heal you, not even your own courage and effort.

last night i was watching a drama , something like "A date with future "and in particular episode a girl was targeted by her own friends. The girl , who was widow and pass the age number around thirty, so her friend circle when they meet, told her to settle with a person who is divorcee and had a kid too. Those friend circle specially mentioned that she should not put her expectation high, as now at this age she would never get anyone like loving and caring person. So at this age you have to adjust.

This scene just pop up some old scenes in my head , that i have heard this line earlier and that too many times. Even many time from my own blood relatives. According to them ,Its all my mistake that i never thought about it . So my only option to accept anything rather then asking for any choices.

Even one of my very closed relative mentioned me that now i wont get a boy in my life but i should be ready for aged person , because its all my mistakes. Now i wont get any option for selecting someone but left out with choice that whoever comes in my life , whoever say yes to me, i have to just go with that without showing any ideals. 

  And that's how a phase of life changes . How time runs fast that I never realize .Now Im here where i have to convince my heart that start to accept everything what is left out for you. A time where you must learn, to burn out all your expectation and choice. and the most funny thing is that i never had any expectation .