Willing to look at yourself

 

                                              

It took me a very long time to discover myself in a way that I can express

myself, my thoughts and visions. Is there anyone reading this? Can I really

reach you with my words? Do I make a difference? That remains a question,

but I like to try. And this is why: Along the way I found out what works and

what doesn't work for me. I know my low points, my weaknesses and I know

better than anyone how I work. As I always say, and it is and remains a cliché,

treating another as you would like to be treated yourself is the key.

Unfortunately, I cannot control how someone else thinks, how they treat me

and in what situations that has brought me. A lot has happened so that I have

lost hope often enough, confidence has been damaged and I have often stood

on the brink of collapse. Yet with time and awareness I have found my way

back and I have kept my goal in mind. I want to show who I am, not how someone

else presents me or treats me. I want to share how I think and how

things can be improved, I want to help those who have experienced the same

thing, I want to help make this world a better place, at least I want to try.

When I was in a worse state, it was always something that was missing.

Someone who understand me, who felt what I felt, who could articulate what

was going on inside of me, someone who took care of me, someone who could 

guide me through the search and name of all the chaos inside of me. But when 

that person was not there, I only had two options, and I chose to fight. I wanted 

to discover who I was, what caused my thoughts, my questions and my

emptiness, and how I could fill, name and express it, how I could find myself in

the chaos, and make the chaos in the world change. I went through 

a development and growth that I never envisaged until a few years ago.

I am an introvert, I am highly sensitive person, someone with an extra

sense, I see, feel and think deeply, intense and often. This has always been

something that got in my way, and what I am uncertain about, I feel more

vulnerable, because when you feel and experience everything so intensely, it

can cause you enormous damage. I learned my lessons in this and formed my

vision and passion. I want to help others see and feel that things can be

different. Because it is possible, as long as you are willing to look at yourself

with all pure and genuine intentions and to express this.