PRISONED

                                                   

You asked me again ...again to be part of your company . Where i can do all those things which only you are entitled to. I am not aware about those things , that i deserve in my life. But my own appearance and behavior help me to approach only few people in my life whom i can take as an idol personality to follow on.

   You are the one who is on priority. I always want to be like you , live like you and most importantly i would like to do everything whatever you are doing. Even i started assuming that as im younger than you , so i can do even more and better things , by following your footprints.  

      Wake up from dream! 

     Everyone have their own destiny , so do i have but different than you. I cant say it will be good or more degradable than im currently living. But i cant fake more things. I want to stop pretending everything which i was doing since this much long time. 

         Still I have no courage to say directly no to you. But somehow i convince myself that it is good.

         It is good to accept reality. 

       Though i cant make it good like you, nor it will appealing and soothing to other and specially i will hate this. I would like to cry louder on my decisions. But by accepting this all i will be relaxed and less burden as i was living all this years.

      Today you can judge me as childish person for making such decisions. But trust me later you will also accept it that , this is write decisions for all my life. 

Im tucked at here but this is my truth and i have to accept it. I will regret it , today and may be in future to but that's okay at least i living with dignity . 

Neither i belong to very orthodox kind environment, nor i get too much restriction in my life where i have to kept myself away from everyone or to entangle with opinion of others. But i dont how i ended up myself in such situation. 

      Prisoned in own thoughts.